down here in the pit

So, I'm down here in the pit. It's pretty deep, and I've been here for a lot longer than I would have ever thought to be. I tried walking out. I tried staying in. Nothing I tried worked very well or for very long, and I am having trouble recognizing the face I see in the mirror.

So, today the person I have known the longest in my life, she who bore me, asked me to look for my ways out. She asked me to trust her. She suggested that perhaps the rescue would come in a form I might not recognize.

I'm going to begin today to look for release, in forms that I may not easily recognize. Not very long after I made the decision to look, I had a message from my sister, the first in a long time. I will read it, I will listen. I will document. Wish me well, gentle reader. Maybe---just maybe---