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So, blog. write about what is important, write about what I'm doing. okay.

I play games online. Not group games, just silly games. amusing games. from a game site. I search for hidden items, I free fairies from ogres and I line up 3 things in a row. I learn, and I get better. It gives me the illusion that I'm in control of something in my life. Exercizes my brain, I hear that it's important to do that.

Today I was playing Cradle of Rome. I play Cradle of Rome every day. It's so rewarding to match up 3 things, clear the board, and build little things. If you're good, you can get little people too, although it doesn't tell you what is required to get little people, they just pop up here and there if you do things like complete a level in 3 minutes or make 15 drops of 5 or more matches, I don't know how to get the fisherman. And there's somebody hiding behind the haystack in the field next to the windmill. At the end of each level, there's a triumphant fanfare of trumpets. When you get to the end of that era, there are fireworks. I wish I could live there.

I have also been beading. I had a little go at my knitted sweater, but the threads split, a stitch dropped and I flung the entire mess across the room. I won't look at it, and I won't let anyone else pick it up either. That'll show that evil bitch. I walk around muttering about a knitting bonfire. This is not the first time, it's not even the tenth time that I've flung the knitting. Sometimes I fling other things after it. That's how I lost the last set of stitch markers. and the big yarn needle.

I'm good at crafty stuff. But right now, when I really need to be creative, the inside of my head feels like glue. The yellow kind that smells bad. Trying to think thoughts with a head full of glue is really terrible. I need to be creative. I need to bare my soul in my work. I need, really need, to make a damn buck. I need to stop procrastinating. My life has become a joke like the for want of a nail joke. Oh, the joke goes like this: for the want of a nail, a shoe was lost. for the want of a shoe, the horse was lost, for the want of the horse, the soldier was lost, for want of the soldier-- the battle, the kingdom, the life, etc. all for the want of a nail. all for the want of a little attention to a traffic related ticket that I got in the mail, for an offense that I was not even PRESENT to commit, for lack of attention to that matter, my car, my job, my freedom was lost. So I need to be creative and I can't. Now, funny, that I can do.